From: Drug Awareness program March of 2017
Read the Speech blow:
"I destroy homes, tear families... apart - take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold - the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
And if you need me, remember I'm easily found.
I live all around you, in schools and in town.
I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door.
My power is awesome - try me you'll see.
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie.
You'll do what you have to, just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms, will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.
You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad.
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised.
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate from friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,
I'll be with you always, right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and I'll take, till you have nothing more to give.
When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned, this is no game.
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind.
I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed.
The voices you'll hear from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see.
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do.
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told,
But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away.
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master; you will be my slave.
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell.
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell."
– Signed
DRUGS
I am here speaking on behalf of my son Aryeh Natan, who can no longer speak for himself.
Ten months ago I stood in this room receiving friends and family as they arrived for Ari's funeral. 10 months ago, my family and I stood here as Rabbi Kelemer did kriyah for us. And 10 months ago my family and I delivered eulogies in memory of Aryeh Natan born June 12th, 1988 and died May 15th, 2016. A beautiful life taken much too soon. Ari died of a heroin overdose.
I will no longer hear the sound of Ari's voice. The way he used to say, "hello mommy" every time he called. I always thought it was endearing that he never called me "mom" or "ma" like most adults, but "mommy" like the little boy he once was. I would give anything to hear his voice again. I will no longer see the face that lit up my heart, those twinkling blue eyes and his magnificent smile. Heroin took his life.
I could stand here and tell you all about Ari, how well rounded he was. How talented and smart he was. I could tell you about what a great friend he was. How each of his friends considered themselves to be his best friend because they knew that he would always have their backs, no matter what. I could tell you about how he shut down our street on the weekends with his organized hockey games. He would try to round up every kid on the block, regardless of age, and encourage them to play. He even had goalie uniforms that were a requirement for the games. I could tell you about how much Ari loved to read and the vast amount of books that I would send him, which he would finish in a week, begging me for more. I could tell you about how much he enjoyed playing the piano, jamming with friends and even alone on the keyboard in his room. I could share with you Ari's love of cooking and how he used to drive me crazy asking for different recipes. I could tell you about Ari's love of animals and the little dog that Ari found, that had been abandoned. Ari named the dog Snickers, because he had been eating a Snickers bar at the time. Snickers was a beautiful yorkshire terrier. Ari fell in love with that dog and was devastated when he had to give him up a year later because Snickers became ill and Ari could no longer care for him.
I could tell you about how much Ari adored his younger sister and brother, and they him. Oh, how I wish Ari could tell you all of this himself. But, Ari is gone and the pain of his loss is immense!
Ari was brought up in an Orthodox home, not unlike many of the people here. He attended yeshiva from Nursery Aleph as a three year old, through the 12th grade. He was raised with love and a tremendous amount of emotional support, as every child should be. He was cherished from the time he was born even through adulthood and through his addiction.
But, here's what I couldn't understand. How did my son, the product of an Orthodox family, educated in a yeshiva environment, become an addict? After all, doesn't drug abuse only exist in the outside world? We live in our religious bubble. How can this happen to us? As far as I was concerned, drug addicts came from public schools and the inner cities, broken homes, and homes where abuse exists. As far as I knew, drugs were found in poverty stricken areas like the slums and areas where there is a lack of education.
We now know that drug and alcohol abuse is rampant in the yeshiva setting as well. Students are leaving school during lunch breaks to use drugs. They come back and fall asleep in class. They are out of it. They are high. Where are the teachers, administrators and parents? Why aren't they on top of this?
Drug addiction does not discriminate between the races, religions or genders. It affects us all in one way or another. Many in the Orthodox community don't believe it can happen to them. Sadly, my family is an example of the fact that it can. In the last year, within the Orthodox community, we have lost an overwhelmingly large amount of young men and women to drug overdoses. The exact number is irrelevant because even one child lost to this horrible disease is one death too many. My heart breaks for the families of these children.
A common misconception is that many kids will experiment with drug use once or twice or use recreationally and it's no big deal. It is a big deal. No one knows whether or not they are predisposed to becoming addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. All of these beautiful children who died of overdoses started out by thinking that they would be okay and their drug use was no big deal.
My Ari suffered from the disease of addiction. The Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy wrote a report on alcohol, drugs and health for 2016, the first of its kind. In it he said that....."Addiction is a chronic brain disease that has the potential for both recurrence(relapse) and recovery."
Addiction is in fact a deadly disease. We need to take charge of it by saying we have a problem and not sweeping it under the rug. We need to understand that it is a disease not unlike cancer or diabetes. Would anyone deny that cancer or diabetes exists? Would we deny our children medical treatment for those illnesses? Absolutely not! So then why are we ashamed to say that the disease of drug addiction exists in our communities and in our schools? Our kids need help and there is help out there if we just reach out and ask for it.
Unfortunately, while Ari had been in many rehab programs, he could not get out of his own way and accept the help that was offered. He suffered and chose many times to go it alone. Every time he came out of rehab sober, he would promise to stay that way. Unfortunately, for whatever reason he couldn't. He seemed incapable of choosing the path of sobriety.
Ari did however, choose to help others, while he was sober and in rehab. After he died I received several messages from people who were residents with him in the various programs. They told me, that if it hadn't been for Ari's encouragement, and insistence that they stay in rehab, they would have definitely relapsed or worse. One young man told me that he had been clean and sober for several years now, and was shocked when he heard about Ari's death. It warms my heart to hear these stories because it confirms what I had known all along. Drug addiction is a disease that Ari battled with, but it did not define him as a human being. He was a kind and generous person, who was ill.
My purpose for speaking to all of you at this time, is because, I would like to help prevent what happened to Ari from happening to others. People need to wake up and understand that there is work to be done when it comes to drug abuse. And if the work starts now, we can hopefully save our children instead of watching them die. There have been too many deaths. Education and programming within the schools for students, teachers, administrators as well as parents, is necessary for prevention. It is also necessary to have the tools to deal with those who are unfortunately, already addicted.
It is ten months since Ari died. He was stuggling for a long time. And maybe the time was right for him to make his aliyah back to Hashem. We, the family and friends that love him are struggling with his passing. And, even though it has been difficult for his loved ones, I firmly believe that he would want us to continue on this journey of life. Part of Ari's legacy are the years that he should have lived. So now, we go on and live them for him. We cherish those years and make them count. Ari always wanted to help people, and he was usually the first in line with a helping hand, if someone, regardless of who it was, was in trouble. To that end, I am addressing this crowd, in his memory, in the hope that I can help even one person who is struggling.
Finally, I was reading through some chapters in Maurice Lamm's book, Consolation, the follow up book to The Jewish Way In Death And Mourning. I needed to find some meaning for Ari's death at such a young age. There is a paragraph that I would like to share with all of you that gave me some comfort.
".....As we separate and 'die' from the womb, only to be born to life, so we separate and die from our world, only to be reborn to life eternal. The exit from the womb is the birth of the body. The exit from the body is the birth of the soul. As the womb requires a gestation period of nine months, the world requires a residence of decades. As the womb is 'prozdor' (an anteroom) for the preparation of life, so our present existence is prozdor to the world beyond."
Ari had almost three decades of residence in this world as preparation for the world beyond. I would like to think that maybe he was extra special to Hashem, as he didn't need as much time as the rest of us do to prepare for the world to come.
Ari struggled so much in this world and even through his struggles, he tried to help others. Ari was a gift that we received and a gift that was taken back earlier than anticipated. Ari's mission here in this world is complete. Unfortunately, through Ari's suffering I have become more aware of the the toll addiction takes on a family and a community. In Ari's memory, I hope that we can work together on getting the information about addiction out there, both on the level of prevention as well as assisting those who are in the midst of fighting the disease.
May Ari's neshama, and the neshamas of all of the beautiful children that we have lost to addiction, have an aliyah.